Grateful.

Sometimes there are moments, or days or weeks, even months when I feel really grateful. Usually these times come after struggle, hardship, tragedy and triumphs happen in my life and in the lives of friends and family. Ever since I heard about my brother's best friend, Blue Haught, and his wife, Kelly, loosing their precious little baby Porter Jackson right before his birth, just 2 weeks before I had Merrick, I have been feeling that way. Then on October 26, 2008, when I found out that my old buddy from Heritage Academy (waaaay back when it was at the Synagogue), Police Officer Shane Figueroa, was killed by a drunk driver while responding to a shots fired call. He and I were stand buddies from 6th-8th grade. We played pranks on each other and had fun with our little Jr. High friends. He went on a mission to Venezuela, and we reconnected at CGCC right before He met his wife. He married a sweet girl, named Melisha Pew, nearly 2 years before. They welcomed their first baby, a little girl named Kenzlie, 3 months earlier. Then his earthly experiences were cut short. Then I really felt reflective, sorrowed, and grateful. I have since made a great new friend, my new assistant, Ashley Husten, at Tantrum. She had an angel, Miles, born to her after miraculously keeping him well inside of her for 7 whole weeks after her water broke early at 19 weeks. He had too many odds against him and blessed them for only 2 short days before going back into the loving arms of his Heavenly Father again. She's been brave and upbeat since I met her almost 2 months ago, in facing this tragic challenge in her life. Just a month ago, I found out that my friend's brother, who I knew from when his twin brother and my friend Shelley were dating and engaged, lost his little boy while he was sleeping. He is just 2 months younger than Merrick. His name is Gunner Goodman. Now he gets to be with his loving Heavenly Father again. And even still, there are so many others who's pain and struggles are silent and covert, who deal with all sorts of pain each day. For all of these courageous, faithful, inspiring people, I mourn. My heart aches and I am nearly preoccupied with thoughts of concern, care, and love for them. Eddy and I pray every day for them by name that miracles and healing will fill there lives and help them find peace. Then we pray that we can become better parents, spouses, children, and friends. That we can be better servants of God and help bring peace and comfort to his children who suffer in any way. We pray for help in living in such a way that if we are called to face any similar trials, we will be strengthened enough to endure them so well as those we have learned from. That we can live each blessed moment to the fullest and suck the marrow of out the life that we are gifted with. We realize that health is a gift. Breath is a gift, as are family and friends. And the biggest gift of all is knowing that God lives and that he has a miraculous plan, that he is mindful and merciful, and that his perfect Son descended below all of these things to bring us closer to our Father, who understands what it is like to loose someone that is loved, to watch him suffer and most importantly to watch him raise triumphant from the grave, having conquered sin and pain. And that is why we are here, to learn to be like him, to trust him, and to follow his perfect path.