Grateful.

Sometimes there are moments, or days or weeks, even months when I feel really grateful. Usually these times come after struggle, hardship, tragedy and triumphs happen in my life and in the lives of friends and family. Ever since I heard about my brother's best friend, Blue Haught, and his wife, Kelly, loosing their precious little baby Porter Jackson right before his birth, just 2 weeks before I had Merrick, I have been feeling that way. Then on October 26, 2008, when I found out that my old buddy from Heritage Academy (waaaay back when it was at the Synagogue), Police Officer Shane Figueroa, was killed by a drunk driver while responding to a shots fired call. He and I were stand buddies from 6th-8th grade. We played pranks on each other and had fun with our little Jr. High friends. He went on a mission to Venezuela, and we reconnected at CGCC right before He met his wife. He married a sweet girl, named Melisha Pew, nearly 2 years before. They welcomed their first baby, a little girl named Kenzlie, 3 months earlier. Then his earthly experiences were cut short. Then I really felt reflective, sorrowed, and grateful. I have since made a great new friend, my new assistant, Ashley Husten, at Tantrum. She had an angel, Miles, born to her after miraculously keeping him well inside of her for 7 whole weeks after her water broke early at 19 weeks. He had too many odds against him and blessed them for only 2 short days before going back into the loving arms of his Heavenly Father again. She's been brave and upbeat since I met her almost 2 months ago, in facing this tragic challenge in her life. Just a month ago, I found out that my friend's brother, who I knew from when his twin brother and my friend Shelley were dating and engaged, lost his little boy while he was sleeping. He is just 2 months younger than Merrick. His name is Gunner Goodman. Now he gets to be with his loving Heavenly Father again. And even still, there are so many others who's pain and struggles are silent and covert, who deal with all sorts of pain each day. For all of these courageous, faithful, inspiring people, I mourn. My heart aches and I am nearly preoccupied with thoughts of concern, care, and love for them. Eddy and I pray every day for them by name that miracles and healing will fill there lives and help them find peace. Then we pray that we can become better parents, spouses, children, and friends. That we can be better servants of God and help bring peace and comfort to his children who suffer in any way. We pray for help in living in such a way that if we are called to face any similar trials, we will be strengthened enough to endure them so well as those we have learned from. That we can live each blessed moment to the fullest and suck the marrow of out the life that we are gifted with. We realize that health is a gift. Breath is a gift, as are family and friends. And the biggest gift of all is knowing that God lives and that he has a miraculous plan, that he is mindful and merciful, and that his perfect Son descended below all of these things to bring us closer to our Father, who understands what it is like to loose someone that is loved, to watch him suffer and most importantly to watch him raise triumphant from the grave, having conquered sin and pain. And that is why we are here, to learn to be like him, to trust him, and to follow his perfect path.

Four Months Old and Some Firsts

Oh, this was one of the best days of our lives. I needed to run to Tiffani's, but we had sold our BMW and had lent a friend our Corolla, so we were down to just the Pilot and I needed a set of wheels. So I guessed that if I strapped him in tight enough, he should be safe for the short ride to Tif's house. I found out she was at the park with Moms Club, so I tracked her down there. He loved it. Not only was he fine for this, his inaugural bike ride, but he was thrilled. Tiffani flipped out as soon as she saw him in his bike seat. She squeals in pitches only known to dolphins and whales when she sees him, anyway. But this time she had a real fit. She couldn't believe how cute and big and grown up he looks in his bike seat. Now we go on rides with the kids all of the time. Some days Merrick and I are out on our bike several times a day. After all, walking is so pase.

I don't even know who this handsome guy is. He looks like such a grown up eating his rice cereal for the very first time. He took one look at the green baby spoon as it was being placed in his mouth, tried to latch on to it, sucked some cereal off, tongue not sure how to swallow it and spit most of it out and looked up at the spoon with this look on his face saying, "That is the strangest nipple I have ever seen or tasted. Strangest." Fast forward a month now, and he's having cereal 3 times a day at breakfast, lunch and dinner and he's even started to try some squash and yams. He's a good eater.

Merrick and Jeremiah sharing blocks. Merrick thought Jeremiah was so cool and such a big boy. He could reach for things and grab them. Advanced, I know.

Our very first trip to library story time. He was really facinated by the big parachute. He also loved spending time with Jeremiah Thatcher.

His first time in his bumbo. And his first time wearing the infamous "K Swiss". Eddy was wearing K Swiss the first time I met him. I told him later that this fact really threw me off. I never knew a guy who wore K Swiss shoes. I'm pretty sure I'd only seen 14 year old girls from the Jr. High step team wear them. But they were his fave. I asked him to tell me who else besides him and 14 year old black girls wear K Swiss. In defense, he pointed to someone who happened to be passing at just that moment-before he even looked to see that she fit my exact discription. So I always give him a hard time about that. When I first found out we were going to have Peanut, I bought these before I had to leave town for a confrence for work and left them on our bed with a note. He thought it was cool.

His gorgeous, contagious smile. He melts my heart all of the time.

He almost smiles too much to even suck his thumb. Everywhere I go people ask me, "Does he always smile this much???" or, "Is he always this happy?!" Yes. And I love him for it.

I realize that this picture is out of focus, but I just love the face he's making here. The drool, those eyes, everything.

This is not a scowl. It's more an advanced emotion comming from a 4 month old. I imagine, "Mom, um, do you realize I'm only in my diaper on the front lawn, by chance? Take the picture, already!"

Merrick-ristmas! 2008

My mom and dad with Santas little helper. They promised that Santa would come and visit me if I stayed Christmas night at thier house. And he DID! He brought me a Melissa and Doug musical set. I love Melissa and Doug's toys. They're wooden, old fashioned, and awesome. I asked if it was from Santa to Merrick. My mom smiled and reassured me that, although it says for ages 3+, 25 is still under that umbrella. I love my parents so much and was so glad that, even if we couldn't have Eddy around for Christmas, we had them! It even snowed on our last morning there before we headed back to the valley.

Every year, my aunt and uncle, Mariann and Kevin Pike host a Christmas get together. Everyone brings goodies to share, we play games, and gather around the piano to sing Christmas songs and party. I was excited to bring Merrick along as my hot date, and to have the chance to see Michayle and Ginny there, too. We decided to bring a delicious veggie tray to offset the Christmas junk food usually found (and usually too tempting to resist). I went with Tiffani and Chad and they helped me bring Merrick in. Tiffani followed behind with my veggie tray. All I heard was screaming and rushed in to see who dropped my kid. To my joy, he had be set down safely. It was the veggie tray that didn't have such a soft landing. It looked like an explosion of veggies and dip, and Merrick was the innocent bystander who was caught in the blast. He smiled all the while and enjoyed watching us clean up the aftermath.

I love this picture of Mooster. He looks like a little elf all dressed in green. He's getting ready for one of our morning walks that he loves so much.

Here we are right before Eddy was leaving for his vacation without us. He really wanted to buy me a ticket to go with them, and I was tempted. But for the same price of 1 ticket, we both could go in the spring... plus it would be fun for them to have the guys only trip. I reassured him that Merrick would never know that he abandoned us for his first Christmas. Except he will now that I've preserved that information for posterity on the family blog. But we have the token shot in front of the Christmas tree before Eddy found himself here:

Being the generous wife that I am, here is how my lovely husband spent Christmas this year, on the beach, in Puerto Rico. His brother, Sean and his wife, Heather (yes, the other Heather Torriente) moved there earlier this year. Sean works as a federal prosecutor. They live right by the beach and Eddy misses him so much. Not to mention the fact that he is increidibly jealous of the fact that his brother surfs nearly every day of the week. After finding out that my father in law was going for Christmas by himself (it was his only time off of work to be able to go), I decided to surprise Eddy with a trip, too. They had so much fun, were shown great hospitality by the Torrientes and he loved every second of it. We missed him so much at home, but I was busy keeping company with family and friends for the week he was gone.

Family Pictures from Hell

With all of the family here on Thanksgiving weekend, my mom decided it would be the perfect time for our annual family picture. Is there ever really a perfect time for a family picture? Let's be honest, NO. If your family is anything like mine, pictures usually turn out to be a true test in marital strength, family committment, and the realiability of waterproof mascara. Yikes. My earliest memory of family pictures looks something like this: Mom yelling at everyone to hurry and get ready, Mom yelling at dad for getting home late, being stinky, unshaved and not having time to shower and shave before we leave, Dad swearing at all of us because we're not ready and mom's stressed out at him, so he's got to kick the dog, so to speak. Then there's the frantic drive to Updike or Olan Mills studios, getting pulled over on the way for speeding, (more swearing, more yelling, crying ensues) dad takes a breathilizer and walks in a straight line to verify that he's indeed sober, getting out of a ticket. Then driving even more frantically (this time with mom swearing under her breath and nagging my dad about being a bad driver the whole time). Once we get to the studio (sigh) I'm in the car on the floor of the passenger side getting my bangs teased up to high heavens and hairsprayed once again, and final touches of lip gloss and blush (a la Jon Benet Ramsey) because I didn't put enough on (I was only 4 or 5)... Once inside the studio, Tiffani starts crying because she thinks dad and Ryan are going to hell for swearing and the commotion is proving to be just too much. The picture people look at us and realize that we are not going to be worth thier money and are stressed out because we're late. Rush into the studio, mom takes off her glasses and fakes a great smile, dad's face looks more like a grimace and all of us kids are trying to smile through tears. Or yells. Or whatever. And this barely scratches the surface. Not to mention the RIDICULOUS matching outfits. One year mom borrowed the boys choir outfits (tuxedo shirts, red bow ties and cummerbunds all it tow) and made my dad wear one and we were in dresses to match.

Then there was the year Seth got back from his mission and he complained that he never got to choose outfits, so we wore camo and green and had our shot guns in the picture (Eddy couldn't believe my mom went for that one)

There was the infamous year of all jean (circa 1995) and the bad hairdos,
dad's beard and actually having hair, mom when she had the q-tip hairdo,

and Seth's horrific glasses.

And why stop there? Lest we forget going from Contempo Portraits to Kiddie Kandids at the mall, because they were having a special (I can't blame you mom, it was worth a shot) and having the 15-year-old "photographer" take our pictures. Mom kept reiterating that she wanted it taken from the bust up, to fit the years previous. She said it so many times, in fact, that we all were telling her to please stop already, the kid heard you! Only to come back and review the pictures an hour later to find that they were mostly full body shots. Maybe Jose didn't speak English very well after all. Mom was so upset! So he went and got his "manager", Paco, who was maybe 16 1/2. He came and offered to redo all of the pictures for free, and by this time we were all beyond tired of the family picture day and the kids were in melt down mode. Not to mention the grand kids ;) Aye de mi!
Take a gander at the old gallery and enjoy. Most of these details are accurate, but all probably happened at different times throughout the years. Not all at once. Fast forward to now and mom's calling the individual married families and telling Seth and Claudia that pictures are at 5pm, the rest of us that they're at 5:30 and making the actual appointment for 6pm to ensure that we'll all be there. She's gotten smart in her old age. Additionally, she usually makes me take the whole day off of work to make her look beautiful and to prevent me from being stuck late at work, as usual. Mom and dad have also decided to have a promising reward at the end of the torture, family dinner at a nice restaurant, which is a nice sacrifice from them to all of us. A peace offering, if you will. Truly, family pictures are fun to look at, and even when mom and dad were broke (oh wait- they always have been), mom makes it a priority to have family pictures taken around Christmas of each year. It's actually a great tradition and so fun to look back at all of the changes we've made and additions to our family. This year, I told mom, NO MORE CHEESY STUDIO PICS! I really wanted to pay a great pro to come out and do them for a Christmas present for her. But too much $$$. So I decided, crap, I have a great camera, a decent eye and more artistic ability in my little pinkie than Paco and Jose. We planned on doing them just before sunset on Friday after Thanksgiving at Discovery Park by our house. I made sure to tell everyone to be there an hour before sunset so we could be there on time, arranged and taking pictures by the beautiful sun was descending. I got a call from Seth that he was still in Phx replacing the carpet in his condo, Tiffani and Chad were no where to be found, Jenyce was frazzled because she was watching their kids and hers and Ryan was still at work, too and no one was ready. And this was all at the time we were supposed to be at the park. UGH! Needless to say I was annoyed because we only had the next morning to try again, and the sun would be too bright, so we couldn't use the waterfall that I had scouted out earlier. We met the next morning and I was trying to scout a place with open shade so we wouldn't all be squinting in the direct sunlight. My patience was gone before we even started. No where was there a patch of shade big enough for all of us to be found, and mom and dad were annoyed that I was being so particular and thought I was just being ridiculous. "Take the pictures, already!" They said. I was pretty annoyed at everyone by now (and I'm sure they all were ready to chuck me into the lake) and so I said, "FINE. Here, here, I'm taking pictures. Look!" (I made my dad look into the view finder. Half of the family in shade, him and the other half all squinting in the sunlight. Horrible. Absolutely atrocious.) They realized why lighting does matter, after all. So we did the best we could in bright day light and they turned out better than I thought they would, given the intense back lighting. Here are the best ones of everyone, no photoshopping done or anything. I don't do that yet. Enjoy! Ryan and his adorable girls. They were being so cute that day.

My dad had just got done goosing my mom (a good old fashioned "honka honka") because they were having a hard time smiling after all of the yelling I had just done. So here is my dad's real smile and my mom, too. She just got done hitting him for doing that to her. This was our favorite picture of them, but they hated it because they looked like they had just goosed eachother (wait, they did!). They have real smiles, though, which is why we all loved it.

Nothing like family pictures when you've just had a sweet baby. Here's where photoshop would help...Finally, Lorenzo's real smile. Benji was a champ the whole time, and little Issi, aka "trouble looking for a place to happen" was all over the place. So cute, but so restless.

Oh, and Lorenzo, handsome, Lorenzo. His "smile" was a nightmare. I thought someone had taught him to look like he was in pain taking a dump for pictures to be funny. I guess he actually doesn't know how to smile for pictures. So I started just taking pics of the bad faces he was making, ruining the picture for his family. He's so funny. He got the hang of it, though.

These two were so photogenic the whole time!

My gorgeous sister, her gorgeous husband and the kids I love. They cropped this one in and printed it for their wall. So cute.

Merrick William Torriente's Blessing

We were so glad to have the opportunity to bless Merrick Thanksgiving weekend, when so many of our friends and family could be here. Sunday, November 30, 2008, Eddy gave him a name and a blessing. It really was a beautiful experience. He blessed him to know how much Heavenly Father and we love him and to accomplish everything God wants for him. Short and sweet. We joked that he would try to make it the longest blessing ever recorded. I told him that I'd have a stop watch and if he came in under 15 minutes, I'd give him a signal to keep going. Instead, it may have been the most to the point ever recorded. And that's just fine by me and Merrick.

Merrick with the Mommas and the Pappas.

All of our wonderful friends and family. Grandma Marta would hardly let go of him the whole day. So sweet. It was amazing to have so much support. We were actually surprised that so many of them could join us. Merrick is never going to wonder if he was loved!

Come, Ye Thankful People, Come.

And they did... in droves. Following is the story of a large and loving family spending the weekend in Gilbert, AZ for Merrick's baby blessing and Thanksgiving. Ed and Gil Torriente brought company along for the ride. To the tune of 17 people total. All of whom made residence at my 1700 sq. ft. house. Add 2 obnoxious dogs (yip yap and worthless as I renamed them) and Eddy, Merrick and I, and you've got a total of 77.27 sq. ft. per person. That's not a whole lot. And it's certainly not for the faint at heart. And hardly reccomended for a first time mother of a 7 week old baby. Hardly. Good thing we love each other. Here is an accurate view of my living room. I had to get up and take this before everyone was awake, or no one would believe the carnage and blood shed that was strewn about my house for the weekend.

Here is the lovely (and as we found out moments before they left) and newly pregnant! Tina Torriente-Robey, helping me cook birthday breakfast for Lissette.

My usually spotless countertops spent the 4 days looking like this, at best.

And what would the weekend have been without hours of musical entertainment by the Torrientes?

We had the entire Harris family and most of the Torrientes for Thanksgiving dinner. And the church was really the only place large enough to hold us all. Not as elegant nor formal, but delicious food, nonetheless.

Here were the fancy seating arrangements. Really, how else could you accomodate the 18 Harrises and the 17 extra Torrientes?!

Good thing we can all get along well. And good thing the church building was available. We really did have a great time and were so glad that it worked out to have everyone all together. Chaotic as it was.

Here's the breastfeeding crazy lady who housed the madness with her dear husband in chief.

All of the Harris cousins. I'm so glad that I have one to add to the group now! And how wonderful for Merrick that he has so many fun little rascals to look up to.

Pick a patriarch, any patriarch.

What is not to love about seeing my sweet husband with Merrick in our favorite, the Moby Wrap. As you can see, it is one of Merrick's favorite places to hang out. We went hiking up to Usery Pass with the fam so we could get out of the house for the afternoon.

Here's the handsome Torrientes. It had been a rainy weekend, but the sun came out for the day and it was GORGEOUS.

Here we are at the top with Ed and Gil. It was so nice to get out and show them a little of our beautiful state. We were so grateful that everyone was able to make it. We know it was a big sacrifice for them to drive the 12 crowded hours down, missing out on a relaxing weekend. But we hope it was worth it!